Fill the silence

I woke this morning with a phrase on my lips. Not my typical fading remnants of an elaborate dream, not a person's face, not even a proper sentence. Just a single phrase.

"Fill the silence"

These three words filled my mind, repeating over and over, insisting. Not only is this in-and-of-itself strange, but even more so considering that I have spent the last year trying to learn to relax, slow down, and accept the silence. My life is no longer a chaotic tangle of friends, drama, etc. and that's ok.

Apparently now i'm not supposed to be ok with silence -- i'm supposed to 'fill' it.

With what? My voice, written words (yea blog!), photography? Let's find out.

Clarity

Today I rested -- stretching out in a square of sunlight that filtered through the palm trees and gently filled the front of my porch. I tried to focus on inhaling and exhaling deeply, on freeing my mind.

A neighbor walked by on his way from the ocean and stopped to observe me. Every few seconds, he took a tentative step in my direction -- as if allowing me to gradually realize his presence without being startled.  

"What are you listening for?" he asked. 

"My breath" I answered amist an exhale.

He paused a moment and I thought the conversation over. "No, not what are you listening to. What are you listening for?"

Puzzled but unwilling to relinquish my posture I finally said "Clarity."

"Huh," he responded, unimpressed with my feigned search, "I had hoped for something more tangible."

He walked away and left me curious and very un-clear. If I could find it -- even be able to know it intimately and call upon it at will -- what could be more tangible than clarity?

A Softer World Found

I have recently been introduced to two blog-like sites that are so thought provolking, i'm stunned everyone doesn't read them. If you're a fan of content sites like postsecret.com , then you should definetly check out A Softer World and Found . Like PostSecret, both of these sites are compilations of material submitted by their followers. These differ from PS in that they strive for less of a shock value and more of a genuine sense of compassion.

On any given day, the content viewable on A Softer World re-affirms my belief in society's collective humanity. Many of the posted "strips" serve to remind me that my cynicism regarding the state of the general populus is unfounded, while some of the strips make me -- physically and literally -- laugh out loud. The sharp wit and irreverence found in a majority of the site's content is refreshing.  Check it out if you haven't yet!

More to come later on Found Mag.

Just a quick update :)

For those of you that are wanting a life/career update..... 

Things that I have done and will not be pursuing:

Neuroscience research
Conflict management
Teaching

Things that I have tried and LOVE:

Photography
Writing
Psychology
Surfing
Medicine

What's next?

Acting
New City
The Future

Next 5 in the Q

Recently, I've had several friends ask me what i'm reading. I've been tearing through books lately, so I thought I would post my next 5 :)

Currently reading -- Everything is Illuminated, Jonathan Safran Foer

Next on the list -- 1) Summer at Tiffany, Marjorie Hart
                             2) Intruder in the Dust, William Faulkner
                             3) Animal Crackers Stories, Hannah Tinti
                             4) The Glass Castle, Jeannette Walls
                             5) Wicked, Gregory Maguire

If you've read any of these already, let me know what you thought!

XO, C

Kona's response to our life

Guess who's B-O-R-E-D lol

As the dispersion begins

When I think of my closest friends, I am forced to consider the great physical distances that are suddenly between us.

The individuals most dear to my heart are now spread out across the country: caravaning around California, being a clothing line maven in NC, continuing their education in Illinois, and back home in New York and New Jersey. While texts, phone calls and letters (you remember those, primative versions of the email) are great, its not the same experience as sitting across from those near-and-dear to you.

I am terribly proud of my friends as they disperse and plot new courses in their lives. However, while my wonderful friends are moving away and moving their lives forward, its difficult not to feel like I'm (physically and emotionally) standing still. Still in college, still in Charleston, still single.

As a fifth year senior at the College, I have become one of those students that parks, goes to class, then heads straight back to the car and out of downtown. Gone is the constant girlpack chatter to-and-from class, lunches with friends that have to been s-q-u-e-e-z-e-d into our small overlapping pockets of free time, and impromtu bike rides/runs through the historic district. I have little interaction with my classmates -- honestly, I don't know any of their names yet -- and I pop my iPod earbuds in and crank the volume the moment I step out of a building. I have even caught myself walking along the periphery of our beautiful campus, and consequently missing my favorite downtown Charleston moment for weeks at a time: the smell of cut grass in the Cistern yard.

With this unfortunate realization of my newfound loner-dom, I am going to make an effort to cut it out.

Promise that my following posts will not be centered around complaining :/

Namaste

Exciting news! Namaste Large Breed Rescue is up and running! I am looking for foster families and wading through the mountain of IRS paperwork that is the 501(c)3 application for tax-exemption status. Fundraising and building a social network of volunteers and supporters is next. The rescue can be found via Facebook.com and on my other blog, http://namasterescue.blogspot.com/ . Thanks to all who have supported me in embarking on this new and rewarding journey! Saving lives and taking names...woohoo!!